'Hair! Like Jesus Wore It! Hallelujiah! I Adore It!' - Hair, 1979

I had a keratin treatment done on Thursday and I am so excited to report the results!  What a keratin treatment does is infuse your strands with the keratin protein, which is found naturally in hair.  This eliminates up to 95% of frizz and curl for an average of 3-5 months.  It's like a demi-permanent dye, but instead of colour you get gloriously soft strands.

I arrived an hour before the salon opened, at 9A on the dot.  Shannon, my stylist, already had the bowl prepped and ready.  We clarified three times so the keratin could really penetrate, and then got down to work.  My hair was basted in teeny-tiny sections with the conditioning cocktail, then wrapped up in a shower cap to marinate for twenty minutes.  Then we blew it dry (no rinsing allowed!) and flatironed the stuff deeeeep into my cuticle.  The whole process actually took four hours, and I missed two classes completely by accident!  My hair looked sleek, like somebody had attacked me with a comb and some military-issue shine serum.

Then came the waiting.  After a keratin treatment, you're not allowed to get your hair wet, make a ponytail, use bobby pins, sunglasses, or even tuck it behind your ears for three solid days!  Should you dare to defy the keratin gods you must blowdry 100% and flatiron the offended sections.  It was tough, I won't lie.  My hair was sleek on the first day, sleek-and-flat by the second.  Out of follicular paranoia I refused to wash my face, neck, and chest with anything but Neutrogena towelettes and took a lot of baths.  Rain on the second day resulted in walking around with an umbrella down to my shoulders and running into stationary objects.  (When it comes to hair, I am nothing if not determined and willing to go the distance.)  After the third day, you come in for a complimentary shampoo, style, and 'dusting.'  (Which means your damaged ends are horrendously obvious and must be severed from the rest of your soft 'n' sexy mane.)  It looked great, but the real test, of course, would come in my own shower, with my newly-necessary sulfate-free shampoo.

Holy.  Shining.  Tresses.  Batman.  My hair looks good great!  I blew it dry with just a teeeeeeny bit of volumizer at the crown, and WOW!  It's like all my hair crimes made it through the appeals court!  Just a stubborn flippy patch on my bangs will require a flatiron due to my shoddy blowout technique.

Would I do it again?  Absolutely.  The second treatment will last even longer: 5-7 months, depending on how much you wash your hair.  It is cost-prohibitive ($250 to start), but depending on your hair and personal lifestyle (hate flatirons, coarse hair, et cetera), could be a very worthwhile investment.